Activist Lactivist Intactivist Whatever

               A parenting philosophy that I have a major issue with is moms who call themselves "Inactivists". As far as I have seen, all it means when you say that is that you're extremely judgmental and think everything you do is right and anyone who disagrees with you is wrong and a bad mother. Most Inactivists are anti-circumcision, pro breastfeeding, A LOT of them are anti-vaccines, they're very into doing everything organic like making your own baby food, and ERF (extended rear facing) until your kid is like 4. Some of those things I agree with, and some I don't, but either way you sure as hell don't make friends or change anyone's mind by treating them like crap.
                I, myself, am anti-circ. I believe there is nothing wrong with leaving your child's penis the way it is as long as you know how to clean it properly and teach them to do the same. I couldn't bring myself to cause my child pain for something that isnt medically necessary. My daughter's father is intact and has never had a problem with it at all. HOWEVER, if someone else chooses to circumcise their child, I do not think they are a baby mutilator or a child abuser or a bad parent. It's up to the parent what they choose to do. There are reasons to circumcise, like religion and some people think it's better in the long run because of the risk of infections with improperly cleaned intact penises. Trying to encourage people to leave their sons intact is perfectly fine, I see no problem with that. Where it becomes a problem is when it isn't encouragement and instead is harassment and verbal abuse. You can't insult someone or insult their parenting skills or call them ignorant and a child abuser and expect them to listen to you and take your advice, once you offend them they're not gonna take a word you say seriously, and in fact are more likely to do the opposite because you're a total jerk. Nobody wants to agree with somebody who is nasty and hateful towards them.
               I am pro breastfeeding. I only breastfed my daughter for about a month because of clogged ducts and I also had PPD pretty bad and needed to get back on my psych meds. I totally agree that breast is best and everyone should at least try to breast feed their child, and if successful continue for at least 6 months. However, once again, if someone chooses to bottle feed their child I do not think it makes them selfish or lazy or a bad mother or that it has anything to do with how much they love their baby. Starving your child means you don't love them, as long as they are getting fed enough, loved, cared for, and you're doing your best as a mother, what does it matter whether you're breast feeding or formula feeding? I'm sick of seeing formula feeding moms degraded and attacked and called every name in the book because there is no valid reason not to breast feed unless you physically do not produce milk, which is crap. You don't know somebody else's life or their situation, you don't know why they decided not to bf or stopped bfing. Breast feeding takes a huge toll on your body, and I can tell you from experience when you're a single mom with a newborn and you never get sleep to begin with, breast feeding takes away what little energy you have and makes you even more tired. Add to that the pain if your ducts get clogged or you get an infection, and you can understand why somebody would stop doing it. A miserable mommy is not a good mommy, if breast feeding is taking away from the quality of care you are giving your child I consider that a very valid reason not to do it. Even if there is no reason and someone just chooses not to do it, it's not your child and it's not your life so it's none of your business.
              I make my own baby food as well as using the store-bought stuff. I just personally don't trust companies, and I would rather make it myself and know what she's eating, but to each their own. You all know my take on vaccines so I'm just gonna skip to ERF. I do plan to rear-face my daughter as long as possible, and that is one thing I definitely encourage because not doing it can cause your child serious harm if you get in an accident. Once again, being mean and nasty to people and calling them child abusers and bad parents for forward facing earlier than they should is not going to help them, and it isn't going to change their mind. It's going to offend them and make them defensive. I definitely think if somebody is planning to forward face before a year old that they should be informed of the possible negative consequences of such actions and persuaded to change their mind, but being rude to them is not going to accomplish that, it will just piss them off.
               The whole point of my ramblings is that you get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. Being judgmental never makes you friends, and it makes you a really mean person that most people don't wanna listen to or be friends with. Everyone makes judgments to a point, it's human nature. But what matters is how you act, and if you're mean and nasty and say terrible things and degrade people just for disagreeing with you, that is when it becomes a problem. No one should ever call another mother a bad parent unless she is legitimately hurting her child, as in child abuse or neglect. If you wouldn't want to be spoken to that way or told you're a bad mom who doesn't love your child, you shouldn't do it to anyone else either. Treat others how you would like to be treated.