Monday, March 19, 2012
Albert Einstein
People might think I'm a major bitch, and in a lot of ways that is completely true. However, when you give me the chance to be, I am the best friend you could ever have. I stick by the people I care about no matter what, and even if they're wrong I still do my best to have their back and support them, even if they don't think so because I tell them the truth and that I think they're making a mistake. If somebody I care about has a problem or something going on in their lives, I am more than happy to listen and help as much as I can. However, there comes a point when I just can't take it, when I can't listen to somebody make the same shitty choices and the same mistakes over and over. It hurts me to watch somebody I care about screw themselves over when they refuse to listen to anything I or anyone else has to say. I understand that everybody is free to make their own choices in life, but I can't listen to somebody I care for cry to me on a regular basis and do nothing to fix their situation, especially when I become the bad guy for trying to help or give advice, or just for telling them the truth. I'm not the kind of person who's gonna sugarcoat my words or agree with you on everything, it's just not who I am. If I think you're being stupid, I'm gonna tell you you're being stupid. After a while it takes an emotional toll on me to listen to somebody tell me all these horrible things and be such a Debbie Downer all the time while doing nothing to change their situation or fix their problems. Albert Einstein said it best "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten." And as a friend, it's hard to watch somebody keep doing the same things with the same shitty results. I don't think it makes me a bad friend or a bad person not to be able to deal with it after a while, and to end a friendship or just kind of distance myself from somebody who becomes toxic because they are in a toxic situation. There comes a point where you have to put yourself first; when a relationship starts doing more harm than good, be it a family, a friend, or a significant other.
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Damn it sounds like we have had the exact same experience recently. I have a dear friend whom I love so much, but I had to cut myself free of her drama about a year ago. I couldn't watch her self-destruct anymore. No matter what advice anyone gave her, she ignored it. Even when she solicited the truth from people, she never listened. She went right ahead and got in a relationship with a man who screwed everything with a split. Got pregnant by him, too. I haven't really spoken to her at all in the last year, but this past week she went into premature labor and the baby died. I am trying to let bygones be bygones and be there for her now that he has walked out, but I know deep in my heart she will never changed.
ReplyDeleteI've been in this situation several times. I can only listen to my friends cry and bitch about how they're with these assholes who treat them like shit and cheat on them or hit them so much before I can't deal with it anymore. If you refuse to listen to anybody and choose to make stupid decisions and stay with somebody who uses and abuses you, my sympathy has to end somewhere. I understand the women who are scared cuz the guy is a legit psycho who would kill them or whatever if they left, but if that isn't the case there is no excuse, and I don't wanna hear the sob story after a while.
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